Let me tell you about BBQ pork buns...

Do you know what those fortune cookies SHOULD have read?   "A wise woman learns to read Chinese labels or big fat belly will be very, very sore."   But it didn't, no sirreee.  Buoyed up by the toothy smiles and assurances of the non-English speaking merchant ("You like mixed?  I give you mixed buns!"), I could hardly wait to surprise Bee with our special Friday dinner!  My enthusiasm outweighed my ignorance as I popped a couple of the glossy buns into the warmer, even though they didn't exactly smell like pork.   Well, not even remotely like pork.   But there was a dark, weird-looking centre in one of them, and I confidently said to Bee, "You can have that one, that's the pork one, and I will have the other one, which I think might be some kind of beef flavor or, um, something."  After all, I bought two packages, four each pack, and I knew that some of them were the famed honey buns.

Except ---- The one with the dark centre turned out to be some kind of chocolate tofu.   No, really.   And the rest?  Well, there was one that definitely had honey on it.  There was a pineapple variation.  Something with sesame seeds.   Then there were the coconut cream buns.  Except,  it wasn't cream.   It was creamed butter, and lots of it.  Not a pork bun in the lot, nor beef for that matter.   And we ate them anyway, all but one, stuffed them down with butter dripping down our chins, and then we felt like we had both eaten an entire feather pillow.  Did we have room for fortune cookies?   But of course, and here is what mine said:   "Functioning superbly will come automatically to you."  Seriously?   We all know that won't apply to buying pork buns, right?